It Makes No Sense
by The Sweetest Venom
Summary: Explaination for Sakura's bitchery theory. Includes double onesided NaruSaku and Daddy complexes. Getcha noblebutbroken!Sakura angst right here! Rated T for Sakura's mouth.


NaruSaku, kinda. More so, it's telling why Sakura acts like a bitch sometimes. It's told from her perspective, kinda. You can smell her bitter scent in the words.  
"She Fell" by Evans Blue- that's where the title is from.

* * *

Once upon a time, there were two feuding clans. Wait, is that too far back? Maybe I should tell you about how the Nine-tailed Fox attacked us? No? Too far back as well? Maybe you'll settle for two years after.

Yeah, that's right. You're not about to listen to how someone made Naruto into Sasuke or how someone made Sasuke into Madara or how someone made themselves into me.

You wanna know why? Because I'm me. I am Sakura Haruno, undeniably bitchy and reasonably so.

…

Excuse me, punk. Wanna say that again? Wanna get right in my fucking face and say that again? You wanna try your luck, bitch?

Hell yeah, cower. Fear me, talk about me, do what you want-it's all you can do. You wanna know why? Because, for all your moaning and complaining, I've still done so much more than you have, you whiny little fan brat.

Oh shit, just broke your fourth wall, huh?

Anyway, you're gonna listen to my story. If you don't like it, leave. Go on, no one's making you listen to me. It won't have been the first time I've been ignored.

I was probably two or something when dad left. Yeah, he left. He's probably still alive. He dropped me and my mom like a couple of rotten tomatoes. His reason? He was getting bored and he couldn't gain anything from a daughter and mother's side of the family had a habit of bearing girls. Obviously, he didn't know that I got my second 'X' chromosome from his pansy ass.

You hear that, old man? It's your weak ass load that made me a girl! Stupid fucker.

Mom struggled, you know? I didn't dress too fancily or eat the foods that made girls grow huge breasts, but she worked her fingers to the bone providing for me. She was a civilian, you know. That's why I never talk about her much to the guys or even Ino. I don't want her name on any of the enemy's lips for the same reason I don't want my name on their lips.

If they knew who I was connected to, what I could do, or even how to hurt me, they would. Because we're warriors and cold-hearted assassins. (Haha, we used to be. What happened to the noble blood knights known as ninja, anyway? Stupid people like Naruto happened, haha.) We'd kill each other if we had a chance.

I'd kill them, anyway. I wouldn't think twice about it. It's cute how Naruto wants peace, though. He's… he's a good guy, that Naruto. But he won't kill. He hasn't killed anyone. He's innocent and I'm too dirty to touch him.

Anyway, when I turned six, I met Ino. She was amazing, but you all know how that ended. I didn't hate her much for it. We still played around, but we talked with our hands from then on. A glare meant _'I still remember what we used to be'_ and our near-fights meant _'I wish we were still friends'_. Yeah, me and Ino can be deep, too. Naruto and Sasuke aren't the only ones who can talk with their bodies.

When I finally graduated the Academy, I was caught between bliss and horror. I had to go be a big girl now. I had to do right or I'd get killed. Kakashi taught me that.

I still wonder if the old Sasuke would like the new me, the killer and the protector. It doesn't matter now. He's a hollow shell. There's nothing left of him.

**He's dead to me.**

The exams were brutal. Everyone was so connected by their traumatic pasts and the worst they ever knew that happened to me was the bullying. How could I even pass judgment on them anymore? To everyone else, they were broken toys and I was some sort of monster.

They drew me as something I hated and it broke me. So, I became hateful and violent. How else was I supposed to express it? No one-okay, maybe Naruto, bless his soul-would listen and even have compassion. I don't want pity, I want people to understand.

I'm not a monster, but I'm hurting, too. Why can't they see that? Is it because I've only broken down cry once and everyone thought it was because I was so obsessed over Sasuke?

You're dead wrong. It was my dad. The man I let hold my heart was leaving again, and just like last time, he didn't even say sorry. He said thank you, like Dad said 'I love you, kiddo' and just fucking left.

Maybe that's why I tried to bring Sasuke back. I could touch Sasuke and find him, and part of me hoped he was just being stupid. Me and Naruto could beat the crap out of him and he'd come home. It wouldn't be like Dad who was lost to the sands of time and my mother's pursed lips.

There's my history. Yeah. Now you'll understand why the next story touched me so much and why I knew for sure that Naruto deserved someone better than me, even though he kept claiming he loved me. Naruto... you don't want a monster like me. All I'm good for is healing broken bodies and then breaking some other poor sap.

It was right after the battle with Pain. (No; don't believe other wise. He drove Pain away and said the man killed himself or something.) He was bleeding and broken, flesh burnt off his body. Just like last time when he put the biggest scar on my pale arm.

He fell on his face and I rushed to his side, screaming his name. Maybe he had liked it because he was smiling when I put his head in my lap and started to try and heal his stomach's opening.

"You know," he gurgled out, "I never heard about your parents… how is that?" I noticed the cartilage for his nose was melted.

I ignored him, focused on his wounds. The organs weren't too hurt, though his intestines were delicately moved. If they'd been a little bit more jumbled, he would have had to sit there while I untangled them.

"I heard you say your mom made your lunches back in the Academy." Pressing that subject again.

I turned my green eyes to his red, bloody surface. (There wasn't any skin.) I had to avoid his eyes. He wouldn't see any deep sorrow or hollow anger in my eyes. He knew my eyes and apparently loved them. Would he still love me if he knew I was neither perfect nor broken? What if I was normal?

After all, a blossom is either noticed for its extreme beauty or its unjustified corruption.

"My mother and me live alone," I finally said, blowing gently on his forehead as I removed the headband. It was caked with dry blood and probably hurt, but he was a trooper. "My father left when I was little."

He nodded before wincing. Idiot, your muscles are raw. He licked his bloody lip-area before deciding it didn't taste right. "… is that why you were so upset that Sasuke left?"

I let a sigh out. "Yes."

"So, he was a replacement?"

"Yes." Tears started pooling up. Tsunade arrived and took over.

He stilled and kept looking at me as she fixed him enough that he wouldn't die. When she went on to heal others, she left me to guard him. I… was happy with that.

He hesitated before speaking. "Sakura, why did you become a ninja?"

I shrugged. "My dad wanted a strong boy." Did I have a Daddy complex?

"Was Kakashi a father figure?"

"Yeah." I chuckled. "I thought once or twice about setting him up with my mom, but … it fits better like this, don't you think?"

"M'hm," he hummed happily. "As soon as we Sasuke back, we can be a family again." His happy mood was quashed by that thought, it seemed. His blue eyes stayed on my for a bit and I only raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Nothing, just wandering."

"Well, you've got my attention."

He fidgeted. "… what am I to you?"

Should I tell him the truth, that I love him and his pure heart? That he's grown up so handsome he makes me wonder who his father is sometimes? That I wish I was prettier and more womanly because he's such a man? What to say? "You're my beloved little brother, Naruto." Would he believe it?

His face fell and he looked to the side. "… yeah." He put on a fake smile. "But you can't get married to Sasuke, okay? He's my brother and I'm your brother so that'd be gross."

If he wasn't hurt, I'd clock him.

It was months later before I regretted those words. We were deciding whether or not to kill Sasuke without telling Naruto and I went off on my own. (Poor Sai and Kiba.)

I had to explain why I wanted to be the one to kill him. I didn't want Naruto to dirty himself. He was so pure and should remain that way.

"Why?" I said. What lie should I tell? No; no lies. I'll tell the truth, the truth they'll never believe. (Some part of me hoped they did, though.) I walked forward and put my arms around Naruto. "Because I love you so much I won't let him hurt you."

A shudder ran through him before he pushed me off and I wasn't surprised. "I hate liars, Sakura," he said. "You want to die with him. Stop lying so much." And he wouldn't look me in the face.

I guess it wasn't so bad. I really shouldn't be that upset. Sasuke was never much to me and Naruto was everyone's hero. I was becoming just a friend, almost distant at that. My life was relatively easy.

Maybe that's why I'm so angry. Everything is just so close to perfect that troubles are obvious but so far from horrible that I can't pity myself.

Life's a bitch.

…

Thanks for listening, I guess.


End file.
